You don’t win friends with salad.

Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

  1. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
  2. Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who’s been screwing with this thing?
  3. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people.

Human contact: the final frontier.

Ahoy hoy? Thank you, steal again. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?

  • Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”
  • Human contact: the final frontier.
  • I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.

Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

  1. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
  2. Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who’s been screwing with this thing?
  3. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people.

Human contact: the final frontier.

Ahoy hoy? Thank you, steal again. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?

  • Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”
  • Human contact: the final frontier.
  • I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.